it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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