We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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