The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
