One girl and one boy is just not enough.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
