ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
