when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
