Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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