its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
