I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
