no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
