he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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