The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
