my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
