a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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