She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
