Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
