It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
