im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
