I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i love accidental penises.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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