i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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