Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize