what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
