Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you are never too drunk for berry picking
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
