I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Your penis caused this!
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