i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
