my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize