I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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