just come out here and I will go home with you...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I had to cum in my sink.
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