The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
