White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
