do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
