I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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