i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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