My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I think I just sharted jello shots
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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