Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You don't make any sense
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