SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
