I think scott just propositioned me for sex
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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