I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
