I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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