he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
