Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
