you traded sex for a burrito?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
