Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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