I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize