i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
