The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
