just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
