That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
