Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
