Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
