A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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