dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
