Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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