He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
