The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
