Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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