apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
