I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
