i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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