the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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