i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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