He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
