Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
