something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
