I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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