i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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