i permit you to call me
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
