so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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