so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize