yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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