Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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