Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
